The mind is a system. And experiences are as mind delusions. I do not need to have a ‘click’ with someone – needing a click is extremely limiting self as all as one as equal.
I’ll write here about specific experiences / preprogrammed living real-i-TIES I had within ‘clicking’ with others as myself – ‘clicking’ and locking myself into my mind consciousness system. ‘Clicking’ translates in dutch as ‘betraying’; betraying exist allways as betraying self.
This occurence was round-about 1996 when I was just about twentynine. In the year prior I had ‘made the decision’ to quit the retail job I worked, underrent my room and finish my studies to relocate to Australia for a year’s minimum – going into permaculture as a trainee in the willing worker on organic farms busyness. It was not so much of a decision (I realised slighlty that we are not able to ‘think ‘life) – it was more that I was stuck within my then current experience within myself as the system – getting bored of the perpetual life in the city, not knowing what to do in the system / ‘in life’.
At the same time I was altering my appearence from colourful to black with holes outfit, to be able to enter some new subcultures – I therefore walked into myself as the conscious within wrting the subconscious to and as an other personality – I had this sudden urge infused to go explore the seamy side of society / of myself. I enjoyed myself a lot as this new born identity, because I had been such a slave within the mind as the system this was an experience ‘beyond belief’ – there had to be much more it this reality as we experience it. Still questioning the background i came from – mind / christianity. Opinions were ‘not of the sky’ (dutch ‘niet van de lucht’) though which I did not completely realise that they were projections of fear / self dishonesty onto me / us and are selfabusive as such. Accumulating all as my self dishonesty. What was also in my program was “to let people talk / think what they want, for they don’t know better.” Huge consequence for me as all here on earth through accepting and allowing inequalities to evolve.
So – then I encountered this male human being five months before my departure. I was not gonna let myself astray within a relationship again – I said to myself, because I had not been in a ‘relationship’ for five years then which was just fine with me. What happened anuway was that I had it within my mind that he would be the perfect ticket for me to lead me into the black dimensions as a safe guard – still sure I had to take the Jesus’ way descending to the lepers, hookers and vagabonds. Cause the ‘good stuff’ was not was it seemed – but I was no way to say this. There – one evening he came to my student home accompanied by his mother and the moment they entered my room I was aware of this ‘clicking’ – on the left hand side of my skull I connected with him and at the right hand side my mind connected with her (the two occipital bones at each side for interdimensional access). “Fuck I am stuck” (“stront aan de knikker”) – within my mind I knew immediately. [Reading the Desteni material made me sure as to what happened really]
After that I can be short, because also in Australia I could of course not let go anumore of the program that was my preprogrammed self. ‘Course’ as path, track. ‘Down under’ was not the place to be for me, due to fears for men (father) and being unsure if other peoples thinking entailed value – therein subdueing /suppressing my true self value as equal and one as all. Now I am sure (thanks to Desteni) that people’s thinking as thoughts, feelings and emotions do NOT entail value – the exact opposite in fact: it’s separation – the cause we are in this mess on earth. Stop separating from eachother as equality and oneness as who we really are!
I stop here for the moment…
Releasing self from memories as they are preprogrammed mind consciousness components / existences – to be able to stand up from the grave of memories collected within and as the physical mind …
…through breathing Self Honesty, Self Forgiveness and Self corrective statements.