‘Needing a click’ with people (as the mind) is extremely limiting Self as equal and one as all – part 1

The mind is a system. And experiences are as mind delusions. I do not need to have a ‘click’ with someone – needing a click is extremely limiting self as all as one as equal.

I’ll write here about specific experiences / preprogrammed living real-i-TIES I had within ‘clicking’ with others as myself – ‘clicking’ and locking myself into my mind consciousness system. ‘Clicking’ translates in dutch as ‘betraying’; betraying exist allways as betraying self.

This occurence was round-about 1996 when I was just about twentynine. In the year prior I had ‘made the decision’ to quit the retail job I worked, underrent my room and finish my studies to relocate to Australia for a year’s minimum – going into permaculture as a trainee in the willing worker on organic farms busyness. It was not so much of a decision (I realised slighlty that we are not able to ‘think ‘life) – it was more that I was stuck within my then current experience within myself as the system – getting bored of the perpetual life in the city, not knowing what to do in the system / ‘in life’.

At the same time I was altering my appearence from colourful to black with holes outfit, to be able to enter some new subcultures – I therefore walked into myself as the conscious within wrting the subconscious to and as an other personality – I had this sudden urge infused to go explore the seamy side of society / of myself. I enjoyed myself a lot as this new born identity, because I had been such a slave within the mind as the system this was an experience ‘beyond belief’ – there had to be much more it this reality as we experience it. Still questioning the background i came from – mind / christianity. Opinions were ‘not of the sky’ (dutch ‘niet van de lucht’) though which I did not completely realise that they were projections of fear / self dishonesty onto me / us and are selfabusive as such. Accumulating all as my self dishonesty. What was also in my program was “to let people talk / think what they want, for they don’t know better.” Huge consequence for me as all here on earth through accepting and allowing inequalities to evolve.

So – then I encountered this male human being five months before my departure. I was not gonna let myself astray within a relationship again – I said to myself, because I had not been in a ‘relationship’ for five years then which was just fine with me. What happened anuway was that I had it within my mind that he would be the perfect ticket for me to lead me into the black dimensions as a safe guard – still sure I had to take the Jesus’ way descending to the lepers, hookers and vagabonds. Cause the ‘good stuff’ was not was it seemed – but I was no way to say this. There – one evening he came to my student home accompanied by his mother and the moment they entered my room I was aware of this ‘clicking’ – on the left hand side of my skull I connected with him and at the right hand side my mind connected with her (the two occipital bones at each side for interdimensional access). “Fuck I am stuck” (“stront aan de knikker”) – within my mind I knew immediately. [Reading the Desteni material made me sure as to what happened really]

After that I can be short, because also in Australia I could of course not let go anumore of the program that was my preprogrammed self. ‘Course’ as path, track. ‘Down under’ was not the place to be for me, due to fears for men (father) and being unsure if other peoples thinking entailed value – therein subdueing /suppressing my true self value as equal and one as all.  Now I am sure (thanks to Desteni) that people’s thinking as thoughts, feelings and emotions do NOT entail value – the exact opposite in fact: it’s separation – the cause we are in this mess on earth. Stop separating from eachother as equality and oneness as who we really are!

I stop here for the moment…

Releasing self from memories as they are preprogrammed mind consciousness components / existences – to be able to stand up from the grave of memories collected within and as the physical mind …

…through breathing Self Honesty, Self Forgiveness and Self corrective statements.

Communication in equality and oneness? – Facing my Mind’s Energy Walls

The CON of conscience

A ‘reminder’ for those walking Relationships/Agreements — to realise that reaction as “experiences” within self, is SELF-created; and to ‘flag-point’ the tendency of blaming/projecting and accumulating/building reactions / experiences to/towards one’s partner that manifest unnecessary conflict and separation.

Sunette Destonian Spies

Writing out copied patterns: As I went upstairs into the room where the male human being was at the laptop, he was just trying to close the windows he was browsing for the games he was after and busy to hide this, because he knows / I know it generates polarity friction inside. This is the mind consciousness game we play here for over six years – I crehate war ‘n’ peace on his gaming issue, he hides it – so we are stuck within this cycle. I can no longer accept this gaming of us and opened ‘communication’ – explaining him that the ‘too-muchness of energy’ he is experiencing comes thereof, of playing games and having thoughts, reactions, emotions. So – I was in this rant that he /we can not support self within these ‘energyfucks’ – we shunt within our mind energy walls, he going into his pattern – me into my pattern as a ‘teacher’. I must stop my SELF creation –  I step out of this perpetuum mobile. Then what? Do I leave him up to his computer games? Is that supporting him as myself? I will let go of all control, because it’s all about the money what we currently exist of and ass.

“Money represents the energies as emotions and feelings we allow to fluctuate inside us,

while thinking that we are these energies–thus we think money is the world and all that life is about–fascinating.”  – Bernard Poolman

What is obvious is that I can not move another to realise common sense – I  must realise common sense self here – but when is it that I am communicating in common sense as equality and oneness with a being? Opening up about anything – not allowing and accepting secrets to exist within and without the mind. Wether it’s with myself, the being here or another being is all equal. How do I communicate within supporting and assisting each other as equal and one? Without going in my mind.

I realise I am still quite in the dark within this one. Patience with others as myself! It’s what we all have to learn within understanding who we are as oneness and equality of Life.

Com-munication – com meaning with. But how I speak to him was/ is to him.

What is it I don’t (want to) see here ? Myself as the mind – refracted.


Next day – some self honesty here Sylvie what I see in an other is what I see in me. It’s the secrectly stuff that is being reflected to me here – I secrete my fear.

‘Inequality’ is: Where One ‘Allow’, in ‘Your’-‘Mind’ – ‘Secret Thoughts’, About ‘Others’ = That is ‘Deception’

Getting over myself through Self forgiveness.

I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to get in a mental state whenever I see H. playing games in stead of realising I am playing games with the physical within getting into my mind consciousness system.

I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to fear for my own survival whenever I see him fucking up himself in stead of realising I am fucking up myself as the physical within reacting to his gaming.

I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to react to the pictures I see in this world.

Self corrective statement.

Whenever I see H. playing games – I stop, I breath – I do not accept or allow myself to get worked up over the fact what I see H. doing, thinking and believing that if I am telling H. that ‘energy’ harms us I would be assisting and supporting. In stead – I face my current reality and take responsbility for whatever that is bothering me.


Equal Money — Freedom for All as One

Blood Rush / Fear on crowded Platform and Train (of thoughts)

This is a re-occuring pattern in my life not yet completely removed from my Mind Consciousness system of allowances and acceptances. Today when I went home*) from work it was right in the middle of rush hour, because I had a shift till half past four. (I shifted – I was not here, not constant). On the platform I allowed and accepted myself the crowd to kind of suddenly overwhelm me. This was very assisting and revealing to me to realise that I was ‘away’ within my mind and not here as self awareness as breath as one and equal. It was not just me within the crowd (within the mind) but also within me the connection I made within and as the knowledge and information that this world is in serious problems the here and now and the next ten years – as to be seen. So ‘good old systems’ of fear to enslave me / mankind to the mind to feed global consciousness system. Unacceptable.

I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to become overwhelmed by the crowd on the platform in stead of me realising that it is the overcrowdedness within my mind consciousness system to overwhelm myself as breath.

I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to be taken away as breath.

I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to fear people panic in stead of realising it’s me who is panicking within my mind and not standing one and equal to and a all that is here.

If I do not fear I do not have to think – so I sat on the platform bench and breathed through to stop thinking. After applying Self forgiveness on this point I have to actually live the self corrective statement of and as myself as breath –  this being this month’s DIP assignment as a matter of fact.  After I prepared food and sat at the dinner table eating here, I had to speak aloud “Delete” to delete the picture within my mind of the crowdedness of people. This took three times to delete to become more stabilized within myself.

The rush is the rush of information / energy within and as the mind. Thoughts create the energy for the matrix to exist.

I remember breathing trouble in public transport from when I moved to the city of Utrecht in my begin twenties within having to take the bus in case my bike was broke. Usually I avoided the bus to university as this was a busy line. If I had to then take a crowded bus I would stand in the middle to move along with the bus’s movements to be able to stay within my body / breath. This linking back to my childhood years where my brother and me were stuffed into the car for long rides not being able to get out (of the mind that is to say). I have suppressed myself through the connecting emotions and will deconstruct this thought/memory/emotion pattern within the Desteni courses and change.  To resurrect myself from the grave of memories.

Also I have been locked up in the toilet a lot by my father for often half a day. This must be correlating with my experiences in secluded spaces.

I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to suppress myself within experiencing emotions inside me.

Also what happened on the platform was a male human being – a platform worker – was circling back and forth, coming quite near and standing staring at me. I did not understand why people do that. Aha I now realise because I do the opposite – looking away – and within this act I create the other polarity. Self dishonesty here. I suddenly wished I had not let my hair down today – I wished to be ‘unattractive’ in that moment in stead of realising I am dishonest with myself – I am not in breath but within the mind.

Work to be done with myself – I realise I have to face my fears and stop within self honesty and self corrective actions, the reality of what I have allowed and accepted myself to become and exist as is not going away by itself.

Through Breathing – Self forgiveness – Self honesty as equal and one as all – Self corrective statements and Writing we can change how we have become within and as mind consciousness systems.

Video Process Support:

[*Earth is home]

Practical Desteni – Thought Designs – part 4

To stop this reality before we further demolish Earth as the Physical — www.equalmoney.org