Aha moment – today when I was at work and ‘my’ collegue was on a break I had a breakthrough myself lol beginning on a huge realisation of how I reversed inside myself the handshake I ‘started’ / did with Herman 6 years ago. Why and what did I do that ex actly? Reassuring to be friends in stead of being self honest because ‘friends’ is a polarity of the mind to ‘foo’ – exists in and of the mind, so says the liar to the foo(l). I am All and Everything, therefor I am a liar and I am a fool. I take self responsibility and forgive myself for these self inflicted points.
It was like a trial and error of an equal and one trying to be, nonthewhile I knew I was here as to give myself back to me, to find my lost particle. I as he deserted self big time prior to our meeting eachother. It is and was betrayal / deception towards myself. So, I wanted to be sure he would stay for he had the income for the house I lived in – I had not denied that though, knew we had to go see what it is what we did. At that time I met him I had a house with no income and had worked myself as life in such a mess I’d done this selfdishonest act in serving him as a good slave becomes (mother matrix system demon playing out). To serve is to slave. To mother is to smother.
“Voor wat hoort wat.”
This is the outflow of the programming myself as the imprint of the relationship I experienced with my family – father provided and I did what I believed I had to do to not make him angry for he could reject me and leave me having no house and money to live. I knew this all along but never could release myself completely from the the points of not standing up within this co-dependancy and stopping these patterns within and without myself through self forgiveness, self corrective actions, breathing and writing to change into who I really am as equal and one as all here to become Life in and as Breath as the Physical.
Therefor I am ONE vote for Equal Money so the chance of women ‘choosing’ a male for (sub-, unconscious) reason of survival will diminish / END. It’s always the money in the end and the beginning.
Read on the ‘origin’ of Handshakes–Symbol of Equality? by Maite’s Desteni ‘I’ process here
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to have reversed myself into thinking having to be equal and one with and as Herman (= deception) in stead of self first being equal and one with and as myself, me and in being equal and one with and as all as one and equal as me as life.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to have fooled myself by giving my hand away and taking his hand, in that obducting both our responsibility towards ourself.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to lie to myself in really beLIEving that this handshake was real.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to believe that my partner was here to bring me back to me in stead of realising that I am here to give myself back to me.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself that anyone outside myself has anything to do with me in stead of me realising I have have to do with and as myself is freeing myself from the mind through the key of self honesty.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to slither myself in all kinds of ways possible to not make my dad angry out of fear of rejection.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to have been walking on eggshells in stead of me walking here as equal and one as all.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to have deserted and hurted myself.